Some weird fluid got underneath my device and it ain't turning on

@very_very_smart for now, you want to treat it the same as your treat any liquid immersion. Download the maintenance manual rom here Disassemble your laptop, remove the logic board. Clean the boards, cables and connectors with a high-grade isopropyl alcohol and a soft brush. Use something like this guide Repairing iPhone Liquid Damage - iFixit Repair Guide for the cleaning. Even so it was written for an Apple iPhone, the principle is still the same. Check everything carefully for corrosion etc. Post some good pictures of your motherboard with your question. That way we can see what you see. Once properly cleaned, you will need to start with the power circuitry and see if your motherboard gets power etc.