Frozen, black but still making noise. Reset or restore will not work!

Okay, so I know you're going to suggest the lock/home button, but the problem is my lock button doesn't work.

I bet you're going to say "Well, Meranda just connect it to your computer and restore it." Well bad news, my name doesn't pop up in itunes when I do connect it to my laptop.

This happened yesterday, an app froze so I put it in sleep mode but now it won't turn back on. I thought it was completely broken until I heard a noise indicating that I had an email. I read some things where it suggested I wait until the battery dies, and then try but the thing is I have waited. Surely it wouldn't take that long for it to die, would it?

So with the inability not to do the lock/home button or restore it, do you guys have any other suggestions? Please help me, I will love you forever.