To anyone frantically looking through this thread for answers... I’ve found it. The solution isn’t bad as long as you can do it yourself. Here’s what I did:
My fuel pump was going out so I had to drop the tank to replace it. Since I was there, I thought why not replace everything as preventative maintenance? Sure enough, the strainers were black with debris and disgusting. Replaced everything in the tank and got it back in. (Filler hose is a you-know-what to get on) Then I replaced the filter with a K & N brand one and it’s always worked great. I still had the problem of my car taking sometimes 5 tries to get it to actually start. Clean crank and all. Usually I’d find my self giving it gas while starting. So, Last but not least I replaced the fuel injectors. Took about 15-20 minutes (do it right by putting a tad of oil on the rings). I also ordered a fuel pressure sensor and camshaft position sensor as preventative maintenance. All of these combined should leave your sluggish and beater sounding car back to its new-(ish) self. I’ve also noticed a slight decrease in cabin vibration which is a bonus. (Don’t buy aftermarket motor mounts kids) I’m noticing better fuel Econ as well. I got my injectors Bosch brand from EBay for $40 refurbished and they looked and work fantastic.
So, hopefully this solved a fiasco for some of you as it took my some trial and error to find out how to fix this problem the hard way. No, waiting for the beeps is ridiculous. Won’t solve your problem. Please ask me any further questions. Anything past about a year is going to be iffy on whether I respond or not.